6 words

Trouble. Too soon he learns it.

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6 words

New glasses. Makes nerds feel hot.

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Monkey urine

Is what I thought this box said. Do you see how?
lol

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If you see me out walking, don't think I'm fine...

...because I'm not.

I'm working to make my muscles strong enough to compensate for the floppy tendons which are causing me pain. Another side effect of low collegen. The doctors are hopeful that this painful work will lead to less painful days ahead. I must have a bit of hope left in me, because I am walking. When I think about it, these days(years) I'm never lonely, because I have pain as my walking buddy.

If you see me walking and wearing nice clothes, don't say, "you look good (and/or) you must be feeling better"

I'm not.

Screw looking good. If I am wearing nice clothes, really the only assumption you should make is that I put on nice clothes that day. One thing that isn't broken is my desire to be pretty. My clothing choices are independent of my health. I really love some of my new clothes. Except for the necessary old lady pants, with the damn elastic waist bands. Old lady or toddler pants, they are equally degrading. So looking good one day is not a sign of no pain. Looking worse, however, is a sign of more pain.

Pain I write this as I walk. In the rain. The rain is getting heavy, but I'm now getting hot under this hood. ...ah! I look up to stretch my neck and my face covered in rain. Feels like tears. Which reminds me of how hard I cried for over a month after my last surgery. Stina, have I told you thanks yet this week? Thanks for borrowing 2 cars, and driving all night from Utah (12 hours) to be by my side. After that time after number 5. I really thought I would never make it through.

But I digress again, please don't ask me how I'm feeling or if I'm fine, because I don't have an answer. The thoughts are big and it take much energy to give the interviewer a question that will satisfy. If I give a positive one, I worry that it gives the idea that missed times of past kindness are okay, because I'm turned out fine. If I give a negative answer, I later feel judged as a complaining whiner.

So can you ask how I am? The best answer I can give is I'll bring it up if I want to talk about it.

I really don't want to appear rude. But it hurts me to be asked and to figure out what you really mean. Hello, or a recap of the week.

So if you see me walking around, don't ask THE question, and it really is meant as a question, "you must be feeling good".

Instead say, "it's good to are you walking".

I know the answer to that one.

THANKS




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Pool therapy part 1, right photo

For my sisters, this is what my coat looks like on a hanger.

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Pool therapy, part2

Next I prep the shower. A plastic shopping bag holds them when damp. With pool twice a week, I just don't have it in me to shower at home. This warm, spotless shower encourages bathing and shaving With its high bench, I can actually touch my calves without ripping my leg off..

I have happy thoughts tied to this room. After the pool I usually feel so alive, with my pain held back from the waters healing powers.

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pool physical therapy, step 1

Take off socks and shoes.
Leave shoes under the bench.
Puts socks up on the shelf, because it hurts too much to get them later.
Feel odd that they are separated, like divorced parents.
tuck previously selected gossip magazine next to socks.

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Floating annual winter team party

Beautiful, glittering. Both the dresses and the dessert.

Formerly known as the office Christmas party, this boat ride of music and dinner for 100 was quite glamorous. The real gold that dusted half the deserts was the most decadent thing I ever ate.

With some extras on the plates as we went ashore, I tucked two lemon sponge cakes and one chocolate mouse tart into my purse. can't wait to see the reaction from the kids.

After 9 am church


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Dropped while we shopped

Nordstrum evening gowns are like eye sex. All I left with was clogs that fit orthodics.

didn't find the gift I came for. can't say what because birthday boy Grant reads this. Did find christmas gifts and decor 75% off at pennys. Did find amy b's bday gift.

And I didn't die of pain

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Love my engrish

Can you see size of this? This hospital shampoo packet fits in my palm. It's made in china I looked on Just like its people, big things for them are small over here.

Case in point, the back of this
34 oz shampoo packet says

34 oz.

This is perfect for getting thru security while still washing all the hair of your family of 12.

Look on my funny tabs to find to funny foreign engrish. It will take you take you to engrish mistakes
found around the world.




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Doctors, doctors, can’t I be well?

I’ve been more quiet that normal about my health.  I’m not sharing details anymore, since it makes me too vulnerable to painful comments.   My quiet does not mean I’m better.

Words I’ve heard this past months that I am or am not the subject of:

Do your Kegels

Intense cluster migraines (new record, 12 days!)

Edema and Tendinitis  in the butt (“gluteus medius musculotedninous unit*”) = Ultrasound machine on the butt. That’s just swell!  *hehe, the best info I found was on a senior health website!  Proof that I really am 60!)

Torn Labrum of the hip?  Not from sports, but from horrible position of my leg/knee in labor.  It should not be held up to your ear.

“I don’t have any suspicion that you have Lupus, since so far your blood works shows none of the many markers for it.”

“Are you doing you kegels?”

“Of the 7 forms of Celiacs Disease, only one is gut related”

Miyofascia massage (and or deep tissue) should be call pinching skin torture

“I want you to see me twice a week.”

“….with the needle giving a injection directly into the hip joint (for 90% MRI accuracy in seeing tears)”     ***Happy New Years Eve!***

“Mild fraying (type 1 tear) of the anterior labrum”

“Time doesn’t heal all wounds.  Time allows for processes”   -Jon Burner

Functional Thoracic outlet syndrome (TOS) (yes, it could have been worse, despite not being able to write more than three handwritten pages)

(had to share this super sexy photo that is one way to diagnose TOS. 

“I want you [to ALSO] see me twice a week.”

“…Painless Paralysis leading to exaggerated guarding, ask (yet another)doctor about Botox injections”

Clinical Hostility

“Make sure you do your kegels, and teach your teenage daughters to do it for their whole lives too.”

We’ll do lab work and follow up in a few weeks.

Looking up the real, current meanings of words is much more educational than leaning on your presumptions:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosis; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypomanic_episode;  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gossip; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hostility; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypocondriac

I’m have signs of  addiction  to Lyrica (Pregabalin) more than any of my other pain killers.  Since that isn’t a narcotic, no one cares.  Other drugs on my list freak people out.  It sucks that there is only stigma related to narcotics.  

Looking back towards previous centuries: “Hyster wanders outside of the uterus = hysteria”  Something to ponder on.  This just proves how a woman in pain is to be counted: Worthless and “it’s all in her head”.  Luckily, I don’t have a single doctor who believes that.   Sadly, I’m one of few women who have supportive doctors.

 

For those of you still reading, you’re cool.

For those of you who clicked on a link or two,  you’re even cooler.

For those of you who realized that there is a difference between really crappy health and being afraid you might get crappy health, you get a gold star.

Now if you’ll excuse, I’ve got to do some kegels while I eat lunch.

 

 

(Dear Wikipedia,

I love you.  When I try to share the huge amount of info I have with friends, you are a great resource for the right info, condensed, without trying to sell me a supplement.  Thanks for being cool.  

Love, Rachel)

Practice for first school day of 2010

6:45am. Too early when all have woken at 8.30 all week. This is day three of alarm clocks, picking loud dancing music and waking the kids. Hmmm, hot apple juve might get is all out of our holiday schedule beds. Canly do got chocolate since alex threw up last night. A symptom of Fifths disease that emily started? Her rash makes her look like alex won after a whole body slap down.
Of course, having only slept two hours myself is going to make the day interesting. slap happy jokes make even the pain and good book, then racing thoughts seem funny.

Now its exactly 7 am. Time to get a cd started before I'm too late!

What are you going to do to survive the first school morning of 2010?

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laughing so hard my cheeks hurt

Thanks guys! If I had been drinking, I might have also squirted it out my nose.

This is my dear friend JoAnn's big New Years Eve party. As I write this we have an hour till the ball drop. The new york ball, that is. Live on a huge screen, with Sparkling apple juice for all the kids in plastic cups, and glass for the two mormons.

Sue just asked if we should give Mark another juice box or cut him off. I would get up and help, but I NEED to rest.

Pain is worse than normal. I went in for a hip MRI today. This hip/leg pain that won't go away fits the symptoms of a torn labrum. it's often torn in labor when a woman's legs are unhelpfully bent towards her ears.

I knew I would have contrast. I had forgotten that I would receive it with a needle into hip socket. That is why I did not get the test 6 weeks ago, when this rip was mentioned. So I go in, clueless. In a back room far from the MRI, they tell me what is next. Holding still, naked, being held down, alone...
...3 inch needle. During the test the only word I spoke was F#!&. I spoke it 7 times.

So sitting next to those 3 guys was perfect. Laughing so hard that I forgot (for a few seconds) that my leg felt like it was being burned off at the hip.

Happy ehfing new year, from my couch to yours.

Thank goodness I'm at a great party or I might be in a bad mood.





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Princess and the frog is better next to an adoring 3 year old...

...and her sister. Especially while she holds a popcorn bucket she could fit in.

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I am the Catan champion!

Playing settlers of Catan. Can you guess why I'm smiling? Alex got to stay up to make it a foursome with our guest.
Grants baby brother Kenneth is over. we've had him since the first hours of Christmas Eve (late late flight.)

Its been great to have him. Tomorrow morning we say goodbye. We enjoyed
...that he is a bachelor and only brings himself to our tiny house.
....that he is not a student, hence he doesn't need to sleep in.
...both of the above mean he has much energy and capacity for our chaos and to jump on in here.
...the kids adore him
...he eats anything and wants to do anything or nothing
...he accompanied both FHE songs with a guitar.
...he borrowed a guitar and has been the biggest supplier of music this week.
....he brought fun, unexpected christmas gifts. Fresh picked and roasted nuts, diary of a whimpy kid and the creepy "ripley believe it or not" book
....he was grossed out by Grants huge barking spiders
...because he was feeling nostalgic for the Richins family event place, he picked Old Country Buffet for dinner. We are all still very happy with that choice. More so because of their new Slushie machine.

Now the game is done, with grant in 2nd and kenneth in 3rd.

Great, now he really won't want to come over.

But on the bright side.

I won. I won. I won twice in a row I WON!!!



And most of all ulcer enjoyed beating kenneth, alex and grant at the board game "Settlers of Catan" for two games in a row. The first time he would have won right after my turn. Instead of redeeming himself, I squashed him further. I did get lucky with two victory points AND largest army. I came out of the blue to win! It was such a shock that the boys have continued playing for second place.

I hope Kenneth wins because we would like to appear to be better hosts than we are. And we want him to come back.
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How can one spoonful...

Of peanut butter spread as far?

If you're hungry in our house, a spoonful of peanut butter is offered....
For a late breakfast
For a child who doesn't like any of the hundred foods for breakfast
For a snack for a ethiopian starving child who can't wait 5 minutes till dinner.
For a mom whose running late for a doctor appointment right before lunch.
For a ill mom who made it home, and is in more pain than she is starving. Peanut butter spoons are great reclining foods.

(ill...ill means sick, sick means something is wrong. If the something wrong is pain of an undefined region, can you call it ill? What word should I use to say my body is broken and to prevent homicide, I must rest? Is ill the right word?)

We interrupt this regularly scheduled medical rant to bring you back to the photo...

Back to spoons. Alex wanted a single slice of white bread for breakfast. His teacher and I disagree with his choice. So a peanut butter spoon is offered.

Mark recognizes it. He eats the spoon very neatly for 2 out of 3 spoons.

This morning was a 1 out of 3 mess.

In his hair from is left ear to his crown

What a fun oily mess to add to my painful morning.

What food ends up in your hair or the hair you clean up?




Post forgotten from november

And all he got was a gift card.

Joe I.  is our FHE buddy.  He’s been our sanity during the chaos of the event and been mostly on{best ever} Treat Duty.  Although anxious little hands have left him out of song duty until last week, he has jumped in with every FHE assignment.   We even took photos with him, then used them to decorated Christmas tree ornaments to remember this new friendship.   Being far removed from the Christmas Spirit, I was caught of guard when Joe walked in with a pile of presents for the whole family.  

Each of us got a present.  Very impressive presents.   Very pretty presents.  The prettiest presents in our Christmas present shelf (instead of a Christmas tree)  Ideal presents with so much thought, that we feel we’ve had gifts from a skilled gift giver.  Let me give you a sample:

Emily got vintage replicas of the original Mickey and Mini Mouse.   In the last  24 hours, they have been in her bed, in her arms, watching her play in different rooms and loved while being pursued  by a drolly baby.

Mark got a Mr. Potato Head.   I wish I would have bought one before, but there was always something else to buy.  I realize now it should have been at the top of my list years ago.  

     

This is Rachel and Emily’s reaction after Mark opened his gift.  It was to our families first ever Mr. Potato Head.  I’ve already been played with Mark 6 times with this super cool toy. It’s good enough to distract Mark while he plays in our room.  

Everyone was actually happy here as they discovered Mr. Potato Head’s different parts.  Apparently, Mr. Potato head is into S&M, with his handcuffs and all.

This photo doesn’t do our joy justice.  My eyes are all shifty as I guessed the camera placement on this self portrait.  We got  3 gift cards to a movie theater.  Now the only thing keeping us from a fun date is PICKING a movie.  Super sweet!

Alex couldn’t keep the smile off his face, even as he talked.  He got a super special airplane with a few lego pieces he’s never seen before.  He missed out on the next few turns of gifts while he put it together.  So happy, and it hasn’t faded yet.

 

 

Joe found the softest, biggest, and most cute stuffed monkey.  I love his cartoonish face.  Oh, and I must say something about wrapping.  Joe did an excellent job wrapping the gifts, in paper that stood out, with beautiful bows.  Way to go!

Joe just got a less cool gift card.  To understand why we got him a card to Black Angus, you must understand that he goes to Wendy’s for dinner pretty often.   We told him it was an “upgrade” for dinner.  The tag to his gift was started by a comment by Grant.

Dinner at Wendy’s           4.59

Monday night treats       8.99

FHE referee                        PRICELESS

Thanks Joe, I hope you realize that this is your Thank You card.   You deserve much more!

Clean table

Christmas eve.
1 am
2.5 walls done
One brother in law who is now my favorite, kenneth you rock
All photos in frames for 24 hours
All frames sorted by wall and with a digital picture of the ideal layout.

And best of all, the guys wrapping presents all day. I haven't wrapped one in days. So long that I can't remember what day it was.

Amy barry's gift tricks rocked. The gifts in 4 huge trash bags, one for each child. It made it possible to be in Emilys bed with a migraine and not be disturbed for hours. And the best gift I get credit for, instead of an imaginary more fat man.

Now we are playing games next to a room once again filled with too many gifts. Stocking stuffed with one too many "special once a year" treats.

But we are done. Done in so many wonderful ways.

BEST feeling, above the gifts and below the picture frame project,

I don't have a christmas tree or decorations to put away. Supper sweet.

Merry christmas to all and to all a good night.


Oh, aimee shaw, now that my "just one week" of borrowing your table is over, I'll get it right back to you. And yes, in my universe we have 29 days in a week.


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Aunt Beth is so damn fun!

Emily and "Smith 2nd cousins" decorating fresh baked cookies. Dough and icing was whipped up by Aunt Beth.

It is the best tasting cookie dough Grant declares. Better than the baked cookies, which I declare to be the best EVER. Its from an out of print McCalls cook book that beth declares to be the best cookbook on the planet. The books binding has finished its disintegration. The real amount of butter and nutmeg

She almost died a few months ago. Years of Diverticulitis attacks had left her colon so scarred. The doc
said that the next stage would have been death. As it was, she hurt so bad she just didn't eat. Then they realized she was septic. And she lost 8 inches of colon. She beat me by 2 inches.

She is my funny, solid and mentally sound, cooks as fast as opening a bakery box with the taste of heaven made all day. She all swears like that old apostle, J Golden Kimball.

I can be my new self at her house. SWEET. that is worth having the one hour drive.


This morning I get a call to bring the kids with our first visit in years. They were watching 4 of 5 of Jonathans kids. Bring the kids, it will be fun on every part. We negotiated and brought the older two.

The years between visits was their choice, not ours. Remodeling with no banister to separate the 2nd floor from the stairs down. And graduate school. And illness. I missed them. We missed them.

Before this post gets so long it won't be read, or I don't get my COMPLETELY FINISHED PHOTO FRAMES up on the wall, I'll share this

Grant telling his Aunt that unlike the job she was fired from, he has few office politics

"The great thing about microsoft is that their are so many socially inept people that there are no office politics. They either can't get it together to appear that they are snubbing or they are so inept that they have no idea they were just snubbed."

Merry christmas eve to all! Grants brother kenneth is here, grants off work and making pancakes and the house is very very very happy. A very merry christmas indeed Now go eat some cookies with me!



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9.30 am

Photo is of emily and mark, a near home.

930 am
Nanny walks in the door.
Gathers kate for ot.
Alex cries as he has to choose between wearing 1 of 4 slippery fabric gym pants or paying me 20 dollars. At the store he solidly agreed he would wear them. So I bought them. That was a month ago. This fight was delayed because he wore shorts to school, even on cold days. Once the frost arrived, I took them out of his drawers. Three weeks later the last pair was cornered which begat much wailing and nashing of teeth today. alex wanted to spend his allowance more than the comfort achieved by slowly buying the dreaded pants from me.

So at 8.30 alex left in the van, in slippery pants, with 2.00, minus tithing, with nanny and kate to woodinville therapy.

At 8.30 grant also left the house to catch the bus to work. I felt sore, and wished I could join him. It hit me that I really could!

I asked if the bus was far enough behind time that he could buckled nearly naked mark into his stroller. With a yes, I ran to my room, threw on sweats that I probably never would swap for today clothes. Emily had got dressed before her morning chore which begat her knocking a glass off the counter which begat the choice to either learn to clean up broken glass or doing an extra chore while mom cleaned it up which begat her cleaning it up which begat a hard heart while mom taught her which begat an hour long tantrum quietly screamed in her bedroom closet. (*sigh*, so worth cleaning out a while back!)

9.34am rachel is decent, emily,s coat on, mark bundled like a caterpillar. We walk grant on the bus, kiss him goodbye and continue on our way

The smile on our faces tells me that we've reset our brains and bodies. Everyone is set to have a good day.

What a great 9.30am, a rare treat not an ideal to live up to. I had no idea what this morning will begat now.

What happened to you this morning?

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