Saturday, December 7, 2013

Oops! And might as well update

Sorry to get your hope up, or annoy you, with those last 3 posts.  I.have no idea why a direct to blog email got picked instead of my normal email for several group list emails I wrote.  Glad they didn't have anything embarrassing in them.

So, yes, I am alive.  Most of you see me on Facebook.  I still like to write, unpublished newsletters and a private blog I keep for family stuff. 

I still.struggle daily with my health.  I have some.days, weeks, months that I do well.  I've found I have to stay active, workout 3 times a week, stretch daily.  Until injury or a flare up stops me.  Diet also helps, but it doesn't stop flare ups. 

  Right now I just finished a month of modified bed rest, and now I start building back up.  Start is 3 strengthening exercises.  And marcaine trigger point injections.  And pt.  And acupuncture.  Amd chiropractor.  And naturopath minded doctors.  And endocrinologist. 

Summer 2011 I was so strong.  1 month, 5,000 mile road trip.   slowly a rib/diaphragm/shoulder injury/pain took it all away.  Took 18 months to get to the bottom of it.  Doing most of the above.  Getting the trigger points in my diaphragm released was one of the most painful.things I've done. 

Though.the last two months of migraine and severe headaches haven't been a picnic either. 

Sometimes I.chase leads of solutions, ideas, diagnoses, treatments.  But nothing consistently works all the time. 

I've given up.hope of being just a mom, with a body that can do all.the normal mom.things without a thought.  But we make it work with a mom with an unreliable body.  I can drive now, usually without pain.  I sit up in church.  I'm not  constantly on pain meds. 

The kids grew, I did get better than the three years of "illness" this blog represented.   they are 14, 12.5, 7.5, and 5.5.  All are in school.  I can't volunteer, but I can drive them to school and help with homework, and usually stay up on problems. Handling each of their unique needs is tough.  I'm told.that even healthy moms.would be overwhelmed with our work, routine, and struggles with them. 

I've stopped asking to get better faster than my kids are growing.  Now I ask for my medical teams help in keeping my body together and functioning.    I just want to be the best mom I can, and try to work around my complicated, constantly.changing limits.  6 more years and half the kids are out of school.  I can't  move mountains and move.them forward in life...

I do have amazing friends, and have felt more support by extended family in recent years.  Grant has been amazing with all.this.  He carries a huge burden of the family when I bow out.  He can step in and replace me seamlessly, appointments to.shopping. 

Thanks for reading, wanted to.share a glimpse of our lives...but too complicated and to private to share more details without making myself vulnerable to misunderstandings and unfair conclusions. 

(photo was walking into the mall for our buffet thanksgiving dinner.)
-

Friday, February 1, 2013

Updates...if I'm brave enough.

I've been pondering for months writing another update for my blog. 
Life is still so much better than the desolate years in and out of the operating room.  Passing my family off into the hands of my husband, friends and nannies is becoming a distant memory...most of the time. 

We are still picking up the pieces...and learning how to make due on the broken ones we are left with.  Old friends are beginning to trust, and new friends continue to make our new life rich. 

I still find myself more private, and more careful of who I share information with.  I frequently weed my facebook, to keep it a safe place to be real.  I don't feel guilty when I block relationships for a time. 

So as I ponder all of this, I am curious...

what would you like to know about me?  What have you been curious to hear as life has continued to play out for me?  What should I consider writing about for an update?