7 in 5, BEAT THAT!

 

My schedule for next week

Sunday June 7:  Lay down ON THE COUCH for 3 hours of church, doctors orders.  Stop eating or drinking at midnight

Monday June 8:  (1) 9:15am Dr. Clark, my LDS shrink who had encouraged me thru 3 post partum times, and still says I’m amazing.  (2) 11am  Check into Swedish Hospital, Cherry Hill, for conscious sedation.  1pm, Kiss Dr. P for letting me be asleep as he pokes two long needles in my flat buttocks (Emily “MOOOM, why did you write that?  Don’t say it bum, or buttocks!  Just don’t talk about it, it’s mostly privacy”  Sorry Emily, Get used to your mom embarrassing you!  Where was I…buttocks…one shot in each, to put some lidocane type stuff on my pudenda nerve.  If it’s like last time, I'll wake up with minimal shot pain, and a great deal of pain relief.

Tuesday, June 9:  Eat only clear liquids today.  (3)  8am Dr. F, my new ear/nose/throat guy.  I've been putting this off for months.  Then I had to wait a month to get in.  My ears are killing me!  And I'm 90% sure that one of my ear tubes is 90% out.  I have tiny estuation tubes, so if I have ear tubes, I get ear discomfort instead of ear pain.  (SWEET!)   It would be funny if he looked in my ears and said I had some kind of horrible fungus growing in there. 

Wednesday, June 10:  6am, have a fleet enema for breakfast.  (4) 8am, dynamic pelvic floor MRI.  Take two pills on arrival so I don’t freak out while I’m in the machine for 60 minutes, with ultrasound gel filling my *ahem* rectum, and wearing an adult diaper.   Wait, that sounds familiar too! (to tired to link to other post where I had the same test)    (5) Dr. B, pain management psychologist.  He is the “drug pusher”.  His latest, pushing me to be on methadone.  Um, no thank you.  I’m just going to be a Percocet junkie until the next surgery.  Then I'll do rehab.   (I joked with my primary care, but she smiled.  I think she was serious.  What?  I’ll really need that for Percocet??) Please, no serious, hard core, more addicting stuff.   I’m going to hate to burst his bubble, or make him disappointed in me.  Cause I really want gold stars from all my doctors.   We do get to talk about Lyrica, another seizure style nerve pain med that another doc wants me to add/swap

Thursday, June 11:  (6)  10:15am  Dr. M, pain management talk therapist.  I think I’ll have a lot to talk about.  Cause she’ll only be my 3rd shrink that week. 

Friday, June 12:  (7) 9am, Dr. W.  My primary care doctor.  And my newest drug dealer.  She feels strongly that I should stick to one drug, and not get addicted to worse stuff.  And she wants me to RUSH all my tests, so I can get diagnosed and off the pills FAST.  I would love to be off the pills. 

So there you have it, 7 doctor visits in 5 days, just for me.  assuming that I don’t get more scheduled before 5pm Friday night.  and this doesn’t include Kate’s 2 therapy (speech and OT) and Alex’s therapy.  (But nanny Julie really does those too)

See, I can smile!  Happy Girls Night with Emily.  To bad I’m writing this instead.    Wait, if you’re reading this, I’m done writing, and we’re looking at cakewrecks.com or searching for wedding cakes on YouTube.  Emily’s birthday is coming up, and you gotta dream big!