What not to say: Doctor Edition

First:  Gratitude.  Thank you friends.  For f*ing loving me.  For encouraging me.  For listening.  Or for being silent instead of hurting me.

Second:  sentences I’ve hated to hear this week:

This is great for pain relief, when it works.  If you see spiders on the wall, don’t take it again.  (Dr. B, pain psychologist)

Keep the Ketamine.  You WILL use it someday.  (Dr. B, pain psychologist, after I call back and said I won’t use it)

Ketamine!?! Don’t take that!  I treat patients who are addicted to it with bladder ulcers (Dr. P, Urologist)

Of course you’ll take methadone.  You have no more options. (Dr. B, pain psychologist)

Just get your uterus out when you have your next surgery, then you don’t have to worry about the pain it’s causing you. (Dr M, pain therapist ; NOT a surgeon, or RX writing doctor.  And because the hole they use for the rectal surgery is the same one for a hysterectomy, NOT!)

I like to give my time to people who are looking for relief BEYOND simple narcotics.  I won’t write RX for narcotics for you anymore, go ask Dr. N. (Dr. B)

We don’t write for narcotics in this office, you need to see Dr. B  (Dr. N’s office, pain management doctors)

I can’t write for you anymore  (normal doctors, surgeons)

Your pudenda nerve is entrapped.  I really hoped the last surgery would help.  We need to do more tests.  MRI.  A nerve conductivity tests.  And more blocks for the nerve…..but a pelvic floor nerve test has to be done under general anesthetic.  (Dr. P, Urologist)

A block?  You mean the same one she did that made her paralyzed for 12 hours and forced her to be hospitalized?  (Grant)   Yes.  (Dr. P)

I believe you have pain.  You’ve had proof all along that there is cause for pain, but you have to stop taking this much medicine for the pain (Dr. M, pain therapist)

Why don’t you learn hypnosis instead of popping pills?  (Nameless helper)

I can’t teach you hypnosis.  It will not work for you.  You are in too much pain now, and you have too much changing and uncertain.  Hypnosis works for people who have pain that can’t be proven.  That is not you  (Dr. M, pain therapist)

Stop swearing, it won’t help.  Go to the temple.  Get a blessing.  Don’t give up hope.  Hang in there…..(countless people)

Hang on to what?  I do feel better when I swear!  (Rachel’s response)

Why me?  Why now?  How long? (Rachel’s question that will bring no good, says Elder Holland)

Hopefully someday I will feel enough love or desire to edit previous posts.  That day is not today.  Hour by hour, I grasp to hope.  Hour by hour I learn better and bad news. 

What I know for sure:

My pain is recently worse.  More tests/doctors are needed to be sure why.

My family loves me, but tensions are high now that the pain is back.

I don’t have a good solution to reduce pain and save my sanity. 

My babies are growing faster than I'm healing.