Then think of your child in love with it.
So in love, that it pains him to be apart from it. To not hold it, while seeing it, would make no cry loud enough to prove his love. He is in love with it passionately. Loves to kiss it. Loves to french kiss it, but he's not even one, so it's really lots of licking. Guess that this new object of Mark's affection it?
(insert cries of disgust, shudder, and gagging)
Tonight, I heard Mark giggling in my bathroom. I never saw him enter. Just moments before I was talking with Alex, when Alex knocked over the baby gate in my bedroom door. This ghost entered, going right for his target. Mark found it, and couldn't resist making a happy noise. At last, he was reunited with the object of his desire. Since his noise gave him away, he knew it wouldn't last long.
(sorry, no picture here because I just couldn't stand to grab the camera while he joyfully licked it. But this is another happy place for him, nakie on the doctor's scale!)
Yes, his mother took it away, Again. Mark fought hard. He looked right past his beloved camera, and made begging eyes into mine. Then he plopped down and cried a deep, mournful cry. Then he would get up and try again, tears rolling down his cheeks.
But Mom just held on to his new "lovey" and won't let it go. So Mark continued to cry. No matter where Rachel went, Mark followed with the fast feet of a lover.
One last cry, one last outreached hand is all he got. I'm going to buy a new toilet cleaner, that is more white than my teeth. And I'm going to put it up high. Even if I have to nail a bucket to my bathroom wall, it will be up high.
UGH! Shudder! This will definitely be good blackmail when Mark's teenage hormones turn on too high. One photo to a dear girlfriend, and he might never get kissed again!
So, please do tell, what is the most gross thing your kid "loved" or even put in their mouth?
Maybe you could buy him a clean one to love too. :) LOL! They're a dollar at IKEA. That is truly disgusting.
ReplyDeleteAlong similar lines my sister(I won't say which one to keep you guessing) used to love to take used toilet paper out of the toilet and suck on it. It made me want to barf and we (her siblings) learned to flush the toilet and close the bathroom door a little bit better.
My gross story isn't a love story, more of a hate story. This is when Susan was still in diapers. One day, she was just having a tough day with me...we were not happy with each other for some reason. I sent her to her room for a time out. While in time out, she took a library book and ripped it to shreds. I was so mad! So I made her time out longer and made sure there were no books in the room. So I left her alone, but it got really quiet. Susan was never quiet in time out....she was usually screaming the whole time. So I go in to find out why the silence. She had taken off her diaper and smeared the poop ALL OVER EVERYTHING! All over the walls, the crib, the bedding, herself. By this time, I'm done! Luckily, Joe was home and he, being the awesome dad he is, and being cool headed at the time, CLEANED IT ALL UP! That right there got him the coolest dad award! But talk about disgusting! Especially knowing she did it out of spite!
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to think of the most disgusting thing my kids put in their mouths. Oh, that would be mayonnaise.
ReplyDeleteI once watched a toddler put a big fat green slug in his mouth. That has to be the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.
that's at least 3 "positive attitude" posts in a row!! yay for rachel!
ReplyDeletewhen elli was about 2 or 3 she got a raisin stuck up her nose. i had to take her to the pediatrician to have it removed with a special tool. the doctor finally got it out, all plump and juicy from being in her nose for a few hours. of course i wanted a picture so i had elli hold it while i took a picture and before i could stop her, she put it in her mouth and ate it. mmmm.
O my Amy! That sounds like something my kids would do. Right now at the moment. Sarina's favorite thing is the toilet. I should take a picture sometime of her. She thinks it is her personal tub for all her dolls toys and misc things. She even has dunked her head in there. With Eli peeing just before this requires a bath. THe best this week was me cleaning the under the fridge to get dust bunnies and stickies and she found a dried apricot with lint and dirt and popped it into her mouth. My INlaws dog just passed on and when sarina was 2 she was eating an apple and dropped it. The dog hair got all over the apple. She took a bite and kept eating it do hair and all then she managed to drop it 5 times after that and fininshing the dogg filled apple. Of coiurse if we took it she would have been ticked. It's just dog hair it will come out the other end I kept telling myself.
ReplyDeleteMan, those stories all top any I have. My one son is still young. Ah, the things I have to look forward to!
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