Please read on to the end, don't just skip "another depressing pain post"
If this doesn't work, I'm to go to the ER for "the shot". ILM not exactly sure what that is. But everyone I talk to knows.
I think I've had it before, when I woke up (2003) with my ear painfully frozen to my shoulder. 10 Min after a shot in the butt, I could move it again. And the world was oddly a very happy place.
I digress.
Today is 8 day since I had migraine #1 in this cluster. Today is #4. My super hero headache meds are only safe so often. #3 was successfully treated with my breakthrough nose spray pain med. Today that same spray made it worse, including the special (one time only) anxiety best described as hysteria.
I was told many things today as I struggled thru the day with 2 not to be missed doctor appointments.
The one I choose to write about is my hellish headache. I was told to got in a dark cave, take the super hero pill, and stay there for two hours. And if it didn't work, I needed to shot.
And try to relax.
When I'm told that, I cry. This is so hard. This time of constant, unending pain. Like I just got off a horse, then slipped in the mud, landing on my left side.
Hours of doctor appointments. Equaling several days of my winter life. And I still don't have a peaceful name to share with you all. To know why I hurt, how I feel, and what life will now be like.
What life will now be like. I don't know what this time of illness has left me with. I do know that for sure, my life will never be the same. And its a bad kind of not the same.
Yesterday I made 3 choices of fun activities. All thee could only happen yesterday. Fun enough to be worth the extra 5 bad days I would be trading for the fun.
Today I admit I made the wrong trade. This is made worse because I traded peoples view of me. I acted well. I was to nice. Then I left, laid on the floor and cried in pain. I play the part of healthy to convincingly. I'm sure reading my blog is immensely confusing to people. Sorry that its this was. Every smile has pain behind it.
I really wish I could make my brain go dark and quiet like my room.
I have to let you go now, because I've got to find my replies to drown out the screams of 6 family members. Migraines suck. I'm going to take a hot, relaxing shower in the dark.
What would you do in a dark room? Not even reading lights ladies!
Sent from my Windows Mobile Phone
Not having a reading light would be hard. This reminds me of when I had my wisdom teeth taken out and the pain medicine didn't work much....I listened to really loud classical music on my headphones. I think today, I'd probably pick my Gregorian Chant CD.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find some relief soon!
I would say a lot of payers to help me get through the pain. Then I would think of all the things I wanted to do with my kids/husband. If it wasn't to painful and I could do it, I would when I started to feel better again. Sleep. Sleep usually gets Rid of migraines. Unless the kids are too Loud. Listen to music, but only soft relaxing music, maybe piano (jim brickman) or some hymns. I would then think of every part of my body and How I would want it healthy, other than that I am not sure what I would do. I think Just dr's orders would be enough for me. I hope you find a way to get through this time. I am sorry you have a migraine. I had one 3 weeks ago and I feel for you. They are a bear!
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