Confidence I now dream of...

This is Emily. On the way home from school. With a fancy, grown up purse as a school bag..thanks Leanne J!

2nd grade, most kids have hannah montana on their backpacks. Of course, most of you know E had picked her own way thru the fashion world since she could say NO.

I wish I could borrow some of that confidence. I don't hurt as much as I thought I would. But I do hurt. Worse than pain is my alien body. I feel worse than a toilet training toddler. Everything feels different and wrong and odd and sometimes painful. Potty training again is sure hard!

I am not sure if that's worse or when I have the desire..but I sit.
And sit.
And sit.
And my brain can't send or receive the right signals.
Since I don't recall being 2, and I have no elder sitting with me to help me learn...sometimes I cry.

Oh Lord, help me be patient. Help me not think the pain will kill me. Give me the confidence that I will feel better and learn to be a grown up again soon.

Please soon.





Thanks.

Thanks that I survived the process to have surgery. Thanks that I lived. That I slept soundly as the 3 surgeons hands were guided so well. Thanks that I'm right track for healing.

Thanks for the nanny, and the others who bring meals, take laundry, borrow babies, my sanity... so that THIS time I am healing with love and peace. Thank you that I can walk and sit again. I missed it. But I sure don't miss the pain.

And thanks for listening to the prayers and fasting of hundreds, so that this time it was done right. Thanks for their faith. Thanks that you didn't give up on mine, even when I didn't like it.


Thanks.



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