Thoughts as the Sabbath winds down (photos from May trip to in-laws)
1. Can you rip your soft palate? I felt something there rip as I sang a late woman her part in choir this morning. It was a high soprano part. That I whisper sang. My friend said I sounded so beautiful. I didn’t realize I still had that potential. I’m still hurting, and I have no idea what to do.
2. I should just lie and say, “fine” when people ask how I’m doing. Most don’t want to really know. If they did, knowing would not change anything, so “fine” really is the safest answer. So now that I’m at a point where nothing is changing, “fine” is the best answer. Even for those who want to know more.
3. Eating food is the 1st thing that always makes me happy. It’s so nice to eat anything and not feel sick.
4.At dinner, with homemade gravy, Emily bravely tried some on a sliver of potato. “Yummy! this tastes just like spaghetti sauce!” Does that mean my gravy is good or bad?
5. The family has been wheat free for 2 weeks. It’s been easier than I thought. Grant has been a great baker on the weekends. Wheat-free muffins and cookies, oh my!
6. Grant pulled hot cookies (wheat free)out of the oven. He added them to the table laden with pot roast, potatoes, gravy, and peas. He put them right in front of me. He told the kids they could eat all the cookies they wanted.
7. Mark was sitting in a high chair, right next to me. Cookies! Meat! And a mini gravy bowl! All got dipped in the gravy. Even the gravy. Which he also drank.
8. I miss being skinny. Right now I’d rather be in pain and skinny, than better and fat. The meds, and my #1 happy activity have me up 35 pounds.
9. Emotional heartache is worse that a back ache.
10. Singing is the 2nd thing that makes me happy. I wasn’t able to sing in church, or in my evening Stake choir. My mouth (soft pallet) hurt to much. I really needed to be happy.
11. I’m more emotionally fragile than I realized. I’m more physically fragile than I let myself believe. I could really use a, “be gentle with me” button.
What are your thoughts this Sabbath day?
Photos recently re-remembered from Memorial Weekend trip to California. I really was crazy a month after major surgery, when I insisted our family drive (12 hrs) to my in-laws.
- Katelyn discovers that McDonalds serves breakfast
- Mark giving my favorite smile to show his approval of McDonald sausages
- (aunt) Colleen Colleen, the Beauty Queen helps Emily show off a Great Aunt's evening gown.
- Securing his spot as favorite Uncle, Kurt tickles Cousin Brian, Emily and Alex as the same time.
- Alex smiles during the "who loves you" game with Grandma Dorothy
- Trying to get a bigger piece of inheritance, Mark gives Great Grandma Alice a dinner smile.
- Great-Granddad Smith hollers at the TV, teaching me the real way to enjoy Mexican Female Wrestling
- Cooling off in the California sun, Grant shows that he really could be fatter. Really, that was the whole point of it.
- Alex admires a sword, as Granddad tells a story
- With her Great Grandparents, Kate shows she's rather be playing
- Much to the amusement of Great Grandma Alice, a wonderful laugh is displayed while Grant tickles Mark. Or Grant shows of new teeth?
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